Dopamine Fasting Journal (6/16/24 - 6/20/24)
This is a translated version of Ko's third essay in the series "Am I Addicted to Dopamine?"
Learning should involve direct experience, not just intellectual understanding. Studying dopamine's role in our lives wasn't enough; I wanted to dive in and start dopamine fasting. But where to start? "Dopamine fasting" sounds fancy, but to me, it simply meant stopping bad habits and letting myself be bored.
Over the past week, I focused on two behaviors: 1. excessive smartphone use (YouTube, Instagram) and 2. working nonstop. These were things I obsessed over without realizing it.
Seven days isn’t enough for huge changes, but I felt more relaxed and less anxious. Embracing idle time was a necessary challenge.
Day 1: Buying a 'Dumb Phone'
On the first day of dopamine fasting, I woke up late. Bored while waiting for my partner to wake up, I opened YouTube. An hour and a half later, I felt like I had already failed. So, I left my smartphone at home and went out.
I had lunch and coffee without my smartphone. I realized, “I need to completely separate from my phone!” With my partner’s help, I bought a basic flip phone from a secondhand marketplace. It could only make calls and send texts. We got two 'dumb phones' and shared one each. I moved my SIM card to the new phone and put my smartphone away.
I felt a sense of freedom from creating the environment I needed. Before bed, I transferred necessary contacts to my new phone and changed the ringtone. This simple, cute phone felt like an invincible shield against the impulse to check mail and Instagram.
Day 2: Was a Day Always This Long?
Days became long. Really long. Today, being a weekend, I decided not to work at all. Without short-form videos to fill the boredom, I had a lot of time on my hands.
I often wanted to turn my smartphone on. Resisting the urge several times, I realized how much I depended on it. I got anxious every time I felt the urge to open my notes app.
I felt uneasy without the reassurance from all my productivity apps. I changed the phone to reduce content consumption but ended up facing a bigger problem.
Day 3: Seeking Guaranteed Fun
I finally said, “Ah! I'm so bored!” and played Netflix at the lunch table. It was a stand-up show by my favorite comedian, Bo Burnham.
I liked to seek guaranteed fun. Trending videos on YouTube, movies with high ratings, and 16-minute summaries of shows. I sometimes wished for a skip button when watching TV at my parents' house.
I thought my brain, conditioned to high stimuli, might be why I couldn’t tolerate anything less than guaranteed fun. Nonetheless, I made an effort not to look at screens for two hours before bed and finished a book I had put off for months.
Day 4: I Need to Stop Working
As work resumed, I began to spend more time on my laptop. I thought avoiding my smartphone would suffice, but I found myself checking my calendar, email, and to-do list on my laptop.
I realized I needed constraints to reduce my work addiction, but not knowing how, I worked until just before bed. Lying in bed, thinking about what I had to do the next day, I fell asleep late. I resolved to find a solution the next day.
Day 5: Leaving Emptiness Empty
Feeling overwhelmed by restricting work itself, I decided to create interruptions. I made a rule: “When drinking coffee, just drink coffee.” This turned coffee breaks into dopamine cooling periods. Same with meals. Since I ate every meal with my partner, who is also my business partner, I often unconsciously brought up work, but I needed to avoid work-related conversations.
Before bed, with nothing to do, I lay on the sofa. Normally, I would prepare for the next day or watch short videos. If boredom could kill, I thought I’d be the first victim. I chose some good music to play. It felt strange, as I hadn't spent time just listening to music since college.
Focusing on thoughts and music, it was already time to sleep. I’m learning firsthand that doing nothing requires practice.
🧘 Dopamine fasting is not easy
Like a slash-and-burn farmer using ashes as fertilizer, I spent a week deleting excessive behaviors one by one. I hope lost habits make my life more fertile, and I’ll keep making efforts. I plan to keep using the dumb phone.
Please share any thoughts you had after reading this letter. If you’ve tried dopamine fasting, share your experiences.👀