Jagunbae

Good Pleasure, Bad Pleasure

This is a translated version of Ko's final essay in the series "Am I Addicted to Dopamine?"

Ko playing ukulele

When I started dopamine fasting, the hardest part was figuring out what to do instead. After work and tidying my desk, I felt bored. Cutting down on smartphone use made the days longer, but I had no fun activities to fill the void. Boredom turned into lethargy. Wouldn't it be better to at least watch some shorts and giggle? I often gave in and ended up lying on the couch with my phone.

I wanted to avoid addictive behaviors and the negative feelings they brought. I didn't aim to eliminate all joy and pleasure. If we can classify dopamine into good and bad, what kinds of joy and pleasure should I fill my days with?

Dopamine reacts to immediate rewards. The reward needs to be felt right away. Spin the roulette and win money (gambling), scroll the screen for entertaining videos (shorts), or complete tasks on a to-do list (work).

On the other hand, actions with delayed gratification are less addictive. You see people addicted to shorts, but not to reading classics. People might be addicted to quick pleasures like masturbation, but you wouldn’t call someone who puts effort into deep relationships an “addict.”

Immediate rewards keep me constantly moving and energized, but without them, life becomes unbearably dull. Now, I want to enjoy life in the long run without pushing myself too hard. Here’s how I plan to change. Instead of staring at my phone, I’ll stick to the harder, more challenging choices, even if they take time.

  1. Watch long-form content and write reviews
    Spend time watching full-length movies, dramas, or reading books. Creating is more rewarding than consuming.

  2. Manage weekly and monthly tasks instead of daily ones
    I feel great checking off daily tasks, but it’s another form of addiction. I’ll skip daily tasks and focus on weekly and monthly plans. I want to fully enjoy the sense of accomplishment.

  3. Learn and practice an instrument
    Recently, I started practicing the ukulele. Watching beginner videos on YouTube and learning chords made my fingertips sore. It’s more painful than fun now, but eventually, I’ll enjoy playing a song perfectly. Delayed gratification matters.

  4. Build meaningful relationships
    Building relationships takes time. It needs more effort than writing reviews or playing an instrument. I want to spend more time with family and friends.

  5. Empty the schedule and wander
    Some days will be boring, tedious, and even anxious. But like a farmer in the off-season, I want to see the beauty in routine life without big thrills. If I find a balance among enjoyment, boredom, and patience, I’ll end the day with a quiet joy.

#essay